All You Need is Love

So I’m sitting in the PCPR office, finally the office of my work, typing away on the computer. The only thing: no internet. Yeah, that’s right. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner: type on the computer at the office when I have a free moment, save it to a disk drive and then upload later. Brilliant!!!! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. I guess it doesn’t really save time, not in the daily allotment of it, but it at least saves money, and I guess since time is money, in a way, through faulty logic, it kind of saves time too. (By the way, that is WAY faulty logic; you can’t do a reverse syllogism like that, got it?).

The thing is I should be typing a report right now. I’ve finally been given work to do at PCPR, today being my second day here, and I guess an immediate task as well. I’m supposed to write some sort of reflective, I guess personal report on my reactions and feelings to all of the human rights violations (HRVs) of the past year in Cebu. Let me say first off that in their summary matrix there are 53 separate cases, often with multiple victims. Just thought you’d like to know that to start off with. Now this “assignment” is the language that the representative from KARAPATAN who is asking me to write this before the end of the month gave me, but I don’t think it quite translates into what I’m supposed to do.
So, yes, in my usual fashion, I’m stalling. I guess part of it is that I’m doing what I always do and dreading writing what can be equated to a report or paper (can they really give you such assignments after you graduate college?!) I guess the other thing that is keeping me from performing such a task is that I always worry what kind of expectations people have for me. I always assume them to be a little too high, which you can chalk up to either modesty or self deprecation. Take your pick. Still, the use that Dennis (the leader from KARAPATAN) was insinuating seems to carry with it a rather humbling importance. Why they give such a task to me, I don’t know. But there it is. It’s supposed to be used for the upcoming Human Rights Day (did you know of such a day? December 10th, mark your calendars), and they want to get started a little early this year with a press conference on December 1st. Yeah, intimidation? It’s knocking at my door.

Well that’s just the surface of it. Underneath it all are a lot of fact sheets on the HRVs that are really quite disturbing. I’ll be honest, some of them I look at and wonder why someone would even bother to call any fact finding groups up to investigate, those of seemingly less importance than things like tortures and killings. Still, they are just as justified. Everyone, no matter how small the offense may seem, deserves to be heard when their rights are violated. If someone comes onto your property, demanding to speak to you or another member of your family, asking you all kinds of questions, and telling you they’ll be watching you, isn’t that traipsing all over your innate, inalienable human rights? Of course it is. So even down to the smallest infraction has to be documented, and thus has to be included and reported and reflected on by little ol’ me.

I’ll attach a copy to a blog someday when I actually get things done. Sound good?

So besides that, if you would like an update on ASEAN, here it is.

Dennis came out with three press statements today against the actions of the government and the military in regards to the summit. In the wake of ‘security’ for those attending, Lt. Col. Lasangue of the AFP-3rd Civil Relations Group has condemned thirteen unnamed communities as harboring or being infiltrated with communists. Now how much sense does that make? He then equated such a claim with claiming that Osama Bin Laden was hiding out somewhere in Cebu, which he would surely send just as many troops into the suspected areas with just as much justification. It makes the military able to simply claim suspicion to justify any type of military presence in the homes of peaceful people. Most likely these are in fact sites of those who are critical of the demolitions, aka ‘beautification’ for the summit. People such as these have already been victims of military harassment as I described above, of whose fact sheets I’ve been reading.

If you want to know what would warrant such blatant speaking out try looking at the excess funds that have been allotted to completely the Cebu International Civic Center. Such a project was proposed earlier in Cebu, for what I’m not sure, when the current Governor’s father was in office (many government seats are passed in family lines since where else would the exorbitant funds needed come?), but was widely protested as funds were not available and the necessity wasn’t evident. However, when the ASEAN summit was moved to Cebu (from Myanmar, so moved because of their high record of HRVs, ironic, eh?), the governor saw the opportunity for such a construction and therefore asked for large funds totally close to a half billion for its completion. Why was she so dead set on such a project? Because it’s the perfect opportunity for under the table transactions of which she can benefit. Finding the right contractors, workers, etc. means she gets the payoff and pockets it. It’s not great to say that’s not an uncommon practice, and it’s certainly not unfair to assume such a situation. Sorry for the reality. So she originally totaled a bill of P450M, but has recently asked for an additional P65M. Besides that, the total funds allotted for not only the CICC, but for the ‘beautification’ and demolitions that have been carried out totals P1.2B (or $24M USD). Please don’t be fooled by such a conversion. Twenty-four million is far from one-point-two billion, but only in comparison and in looking at the first figure first. Also think where that money is going. Remember that demolitions of communities are going on all over the city, especially along the ‘ceremonial route’ for the ASEAN delegates. These people are being demoted from simply “the poor” to “eyesores” which has absolutely no inherent human qualities.

Finally (well probably not), the 7th Marine Battalion Landing Team, who a few weeks ago were arrested for causing trouble in a bar in Lapu-Lapu City (close to Cebu City), recently came out with a warning to those who would opposed them with a wild display of arms. They were found showing off for public viewing their newly polished canons and armor, for security during the summit. I guess I don’t need to say much more on what type of message their trying to send out, or at whom it is aimed.

And last to round out my disturbing news, two shocking events occurred last night. One, thankfully, was merely an accident, but none-the-less quite disturbing. I thankfully was not present for the duration of the scare, but came back, literally minutes after it was quelled. It turns out there was a minor fire last night on the roof of the adjoining building to mine. In other words think of me as the store next door in a small shopping center. My roommate told me, reassuringly, that there is a fire wall between the two, and we were in no real danger. Still, to have a fire so close to your home and your things is quite scary. I guess the most frightening thing occurred when Paz, a co-worker of PCPR who is the store next door to mine, tried calling the fire department. Because of all the ruckus and preparations for the summit, no nearby departments were available for the whole city. The nearest department she could contact was three hours away. Yes, three hours of fire burning had the staff here not acted quickly and been blessed enough to have a first hose of their own. I guess in some ways even accidents are affected simply for the sake of appearances to the rest of Southeast Asia.

And to top it all off…yes, there’s one more thing.

I got an e-mail last night from my fellow intern and friend in Bohol. She is currently “sick” with some sort of infection that is causing some swelling in random spots on her body. This is keeping her from going back, almost thankfully, to her second assignment site in Dagahoy in Bohol. There, she is being requested to present herself to the Barangay Captain for the sake of seeming, I guess, like some sort of agitator. The other day while in a group of her co-workers and friends, they were approached by a man in civilian attire, claiming to want to know where the NPA (National People’s Army, of whom the government is always searching and claiming conspiracies with those people who are rather outspoken) was meeting. Believing, and justifiably, that this man was actual a military man, they went away and asked Helen to take a picture of him with her camera so they could go to the police. Later, while resting in her host home, she observed a man sitting on his motorcycle, watching their house for a good 30-45 minutes. The scary thing was reading all this that my friend was going through after just having left work here at PCPR from reading very similar accounts that all ended in increasing degrees of severity. This makes me very worried for her, first and foremost, but also for the people she is with. Bohol is a very militarized island and many people have left there or ceased communication with others outside the island.

For the sake of everyone reading, please don’t be alarmed. Be outraged that such a thing is allowed to happen to anyone, especially the Filipino people, but don’t be alarmed. Helen is and will be safe. Should things become any more dangerous, she will be evacuated from the island immediately to safety. She will even be evacuated should things be even slightly upsetting, the reason being not only her safety, but the safety of others who cannot look after Helen and themselves. So please don’t worry. I’m sure everything is fine. It is simply the reality of the situation and hearing of it happening to someone you know that is the most upsetting.

And also, in case my mother is reading this, I’m FINE and SAFE. I promise.

Honestly, foreigners may be harassed once in awhile, like the Canadian fact finding team who was just here and in reported on today in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. However, one is far safer as a Westerner than as a native Filipino. It’s a sad way to find peace of mind for one’s self, which is self preservation and honestly I think quite sinful, but so be it. I hope you all pray for those Filipinos being persecuted yesterday, today, and tomorrow, unceasingly.

On a lighter note, which I am apt to include, the Americanly-successful comedy “Borat…” came out today in Cebu. I’m planning on catching a showing on Friday as a little way to escape the harsh realities of the Philippines for awhile and instead laugh at the ridiculous realities of the States.

Oh! And I also learned in a letter from Becca today that our reflection retreat in January will be held in the BEAUTIFUL island of Palawan (the western most island that sticks out like an arm) near the underground river and Porta Princessa. Also, that possibly all of the interns will be visiting me not only just before we all fly to Palawan, but for the ASEAN summit!!! You can’t imagine how excited this makes me as not only is there safety in numbers, but I’ve been missing them ever so much since October. I always love when I can share parts of my life with others, and thus I will share Cebu with them. It should be exciting.

I made two realizations today.

One

While showering this evening, I turned on the showerhead, that I surprisingly have, instead of using the dip bath method. This is a pretty awful thing for me to do, in my mind, because it basically wastes water and makes me take a longer shower, I can't figure out why. Then, when I went to get my silverware for dinner, I only got a fork instead of the usual fork AND spoon. The thing is, the spoon is the dominant utensil here. You use the fork to help pick at food like meat on bones, and to push food onto your spoon.

So what does this have to do with my realization.

I'm am so used to my own customs, that despite the practicality of some Filipino customs, and the longevity with which I will be using them, that I will never truly adopt a Filipino way of life. I know this sounds pretty obvious. I mean, what was I expecting, to come back a Filipina? It just really brings home the idea that when I get home, I will probably take hot showers, eat with a fork, be quite independent, worry about what time to show up to places, drive within walking distance, and underappreciate my position in life. That's my prediction. But I think the point of all of this, this trip, this experience, is not to permanently make me over into a better person. I know, though, that I will be a little bit wiser and more conscious of what I'm doing. I know I will think more about things. Maybe I won't always walk within walking distance, but maybe some of the time I'll think twice before getting in the car. And maybe I'll be more conscious about the amount of water I'm using for a shower, and even turn it off when I'm not using it. Maybe I'll eat with a spoon (haha, that has nothing to do with being a better person and honestly I don't think I'll ever get used to it, so no, I probably won't).

Two

I was talking to one of the CENDET workers today in the kitchen while eating dinner. He is a very interesting character to talk to, and often I have no idea what to say to him, not because of the language issue, but because he's a little eccentric. Anyway, we were making small talk about his love of fishing, his siblings and what parts of the world they were in, what the ocean is like in the US, etc. Eventually we came to two things, at different points in the conversation. The first was when he found out where I had been two nights ago. He began making a string of comments about how could I go there and how much it smelled and how the people who live there don't know how to clean up after themselves. In the second disturbing conversation he was commenting on why he won't go to Mindanoa to see his sister. He said it was because of all of the Muslims that were there, the MILF (Muslim Islamic Liberation Front), MNLF (Muslim National Liberation Front) and the all of the Abu-Sayaf that are there. He talked about how he didn't like Muslims and generally talked about the Moro people in a very negative manner.

Hearing things like this were disturbing. I guess I've just been around so many liberal and open-minded people since I've been here that I hadn't thought about the negativity of some people. Ignorantly, perhaps, I guess I've had the mentality that because of the severity of the situation here in the Philippines, that the general population were aware of the various situations and supportive of each other, because of the understanding of the different issues. I've heard people ask from one place if I was aware of a situation in another. In the picket lines I was asked if I knew about the poor. In the IP immersions I was asked if I knew about the situation of factory workers. I've thought this way mostly because it's heartbreaking to think that there are fellow Filipinos who are inconsiderate of the plight of others. When there are so many problems, you would hope that there could at least be understanding between and for others. There is not the sense of standing together like I thought there woudl be.

I guess if I had been in the states and someone had said something that I found a little closed-minded and derrogatory, I would be apt, if not to firmly give my opinion of the situation, than at least to try and engage that person in a discussion about why they felt that way, how I felt about it, and if the two could be reconciled (I say this as the theoretical, not the realistic). Here, though, I really felt unable to do that. It's really not my place to be offering my advice about situations here. I've found that I can't ask people not to use Nescafe, which I keep getting offered, much less simply tell them that I don't drink it and why. Instead, I just opt for no coffee and say I don't like it, or if I feel I will offend my host, I choke it back and drink it. This makes the words of my commissioning with the UCCP ring true, that I'm not here to fight the Filipinos' battles for them. I can't so much be an activist for their rights like I can be at home. That's a tough position to be in, especially when I try to figure out what effect that has on my work in my placement which specializes in political activism and trying to make voices heard. It again makes me understand that I am simply here to learn. It will probably take quite some time to figure out what to do with what I've learned, and for now, it's meaning spreading the news, informing and educating others. That still makes it hard to find my purpose here.

Well despite that I'm in quite a good mood if for nothing else than that I just heard MmmBop in the IC.

Peace, I hope

Obladi Oblada...life goes on

It's true you know. No matter how often someone gives credit to John, Paul, George, and I guess Ringo there is still more to give for knowing exactly how things are.

This song came up twice in recent trip to the community of Pasil, an urban poor community on the edge of the sea, currently schduled for demolition due to its proximity to water and thus being classified a "danger zone". Even though I stayed in the home of a lady named Helen, I spent most of my time being led around by two "youth", Insit, who is 17, and Rosalynda, who is also 22. They first took me around the Capon market, which is vast and crowded, and to St. Nino, the oldest church in the Philippines. The first time this song graced my ear, we were in the market, which was a little amusing because the song talks about working in the marketplace. It's funny how songs can really be a blessing. They can often say the thing we need to hear, or put into words just what we're thinking. I was very worried about being in the community, I guess honestly for the sake of my own comfort and because of the difficulties of being without anyone I knew, even for the short time I've been in Cebu. But the words rang true, life does go on. That situation, that world is life, and it does continue whether I'm uncomfortable about it or not. And life is what these people have, which I can't demean simply by disliking their situation; it is certainly not one they choose.

The funny thing was how comfortable I ended up being. I have hardly opened my mouth since I've gotten to Cebu. I can't seem to learn the Filipino sense of humor to make a joke, and most of the talking that goes on occurs in Cebuano. So I've mostly come across as a very shy, quiet person, which is quite counter to my nature and would shock most of my friends and family. When I was in Pasil, though, I couldn't shut up! At least during the night I was there. At first I was very nervous and not knowing what to say or how much English the girls would know. I think, honestly, the part that broke the ice happened over a little something called karaoke. Heard of it? Been scared to do it? It's HUGE in the Philippines. Even in an impoverished community, there are videoke machines galore, which people are willing to put in one peso per song to use. I was persuaded to sing, which I thought would only mean one, possibly two songs. But when I got there, Insit had exactly ten pesos she insisted on me using. So I sang a whole ten songs. The children that came to see the crazy americana singing seemed highly unimpressed, because they eventually took to chasing after a house lizard, or "tiki" while I was singing. And as it turned out, one of their choices of songs was "Obladi, oblada"...and life went on.

The other grand thing that happened, that oddly broke some more ice, was watching the Tagalog news program, 24 oras. Even though I can't speak enough Tagalog to save my life (and won't be learning much more, since, again, Cebuano is the dialect here), I was able to make out enough when they announced that the Democrats had won the House and the Senate and that Donald Rumsfeld had resigned. I explained, well, I tried my hardest to explain in "easy English", what a Democrat was, why there'd been an election, and if this had any affect on the Philippines (which is a very difficult thing to answer because I don't know and couldn't say with any accuracy or authority).

So in all, my time wasn't as challenging as before. In all honesty, life in this community, while very similar to that in Parola, didn't seem as bad. Maybe it was becasue the last trip was such a shock, or maybe because I am a lot more comfortable with the Philippines and Filipinos in general. It could also be that their situation wasn't as bad. The Barangays were as numerous and there weren't as many people. Walking around Parola, I felt like I was underground, walking under the streets in the sewars, even though my feet were firmly planted on top. There was less of an occurance of this feeling in Pasil. There was more light, which often makes for a better feeling. I got to interact a lot more with the people, who spoke English a lot better because they were able to go to school, which Parolans often don't get to do. There were even internet cafes for the special occasion that the people can afford to go. The difference in situation makes more sense to me when I thinkt that most of the people in Pasil are from the area of Cebu. Many of the people in Manila have moved from increasingly harsher situations in the provinces all around the Philippines. I don't know if this makes sense, so write me if you would like further clarification.

So once again my expectations haven't exactly been met as planned. I thought that this trip was going to be unbearable. While it was very difficult to be there because of the situation and reality that these people face as I had expected, there was the welcoming atmosphere I keep encountering here in this country and I ended up being able to simply be with the people I met. When I went to Parola, Becca said, "have fun" and afterwards I thought she was crazy. This time when I left, Junita said, "I would say have fun, but...", and in this case she would have been quite right and justified to have said so.

I think this blog has ended up being full of words and not much substance. I could have compressed all this rambling into a point that was shorter, but I guess that's just how my mind is working right now: shuffling through many words and thoughts to try and make sense of things, going through a constant state of processing. You all just get to be in on the conversation and part of the trip.

I leave tomorrow for the mountains again. I'll be glad when Monday comes and I can finally rest!

Peace, I hope

Island antics

I was walking towards the mall the other day (and that has apparently become my exercise as I have walked in that direction three days in a row now) and was admiring a very interesting sight...or is it site? They're busy constructing a large Christmas tree in the middle of this large roundabout next to Robinson's Cebu (the mall). I've seen this work in progress many times, but something was different this time. There was a sign that was flashing between some writing I couldn't make out and a large "32". I thought, 32 what? Only 32 days 'til Christmas!? But don't worry, I was wrong, there are a good 48 or so shopping days left (and yes, you can shop on Christmas Eve, I've done it before, looking for the perfect gift). Maybe it meant 32 days until they lit the tree or they were finished. But Dec. 9th seems an odd choice of day to light a tree, especially when the "Christmas season" has been open basically since I've gotten here. Maybe it's not 32 days until anything, maybe it's someone's 32nd birthday, or maybe its 32 degrees outside (right). What could it be that's so important to have a huge light-up sign for it? And then I got closer and found out...32 days until the ASEAN summit.

Well isn't that just grand. I was trying to think of what a sign like that would be comparable to in the states, but alas, many things are not comparable between here and home. Let me just say that the site....sight?...didn't sit well with me and left me a little peeved. I'm not sure how informed America is of ASEAN. It's the Assembly (I think) of Southeast Asian Nations. The summit that is coming up is I guess a little comparable to the G8 summit, only with mostly 3rd world nations (although I've heard tale that Dubya may be making an appearance). For such a conference, which President Arroyo is a little too pleased about, they've tried to "clean up" Cebu City where the conference will kick off. The city is currently in construction on a huge convention center, set to open on the first day of the summit. As I've mentioned before, many of the urban poor of the Philippines live as squatters on government land not being used such as land along the river, the sea, railroad tracks, etc. So even though it's not technically their land, many people build what little they can for a home and try their hardest in these hovels to scrap together enough money to survive. However, to construct such a huge convention center, one needs land, so many urban poor have been displaced in the wake of this demolition. And the destruction doesn't stop there, many communities have been victims of the demolition in order to simply "clean up" the city. Imagine, a huge summit of countries leaders is being held in your neighborhood, your leader is so more excited than they have been in awhile, but you and you neighbors have to loose your house for that leader's wishes.

Not to mention the 15,000 some odd military personel that have been shipped into the city and surrounding areas to keep things safe. I heard tale that some surveillance cameras have been placed all over the city as well. Beware, Big Sister is watching.

On a lighter note, I did get a chance to enjoy myself just yesterday when I attended a gathering of some church pastors in Lapu-Lapu city. I got to eat my favorite Filipino food (which actually isn't very healthy) and listen to some old pastors sing lounge songs on karaoke. They tried to get me to sing, but I kindly declined as I didn't really know any of the songs (save for My Way, which I've been told never to sing for karaoke because its a point of great conflict in many karaoke lounges, ask me why later).

I also washed all my clothes by hang for the first time. I have washed by hand before in the river at the IP immersion, but I've been spoiled in Manila by Becca's washing machine. Granted, I've also hung up my clothes to dry, but having to scrub all your clothes in tiring work. The hardest part is actually rinsing and wringing. I realized that what I REALLY miss about Becca's machine was the spin drier she had. It didn't get clothes completely dry, but it got most of the water out, which also makes it easier to rinse after washing clothes. I have once again realized how privaledged my life is back home and am terribly humbled.

Other than that life is life. I'm making my way around on my own, which gives me a feeling of familiarity as if I have somewhat adjusted, but it does distance me from the people I live with as I've felt the need to run out the past three days in that direction (although all were highly justified). I think I may have failed to mention (although I can't imagine how I let such a thing slip my mind) that I did get to see on Sunday night an episode of CSI I haven't seen before! I was basically the most content I've been since I've gotten here (I say that with a wink and a grin).

I leave tomorrow for my urban poor immersion, and even though I will be gone for a mere 24 hours, I'm still very tense about it. I hope to learn more of the situation of the demolitions and to be in community with the people I'll meet, but I'll say again, I'm still very nervous.

Peace, I hope

A week on the island...

I've figured out the secret to a good internet cafe business...get an adorably cute dog to run around and distract people with its charm and therefore make them spend more time, thus spend more money. GENIUS! (And once again with my amazing ideas, someone thought of this first, and it's sitting next to me, sniffing my bags from the bookstore).

Ok, so with that said....

I've been in Cebu for one week. The funny thing is I've been more elsewhere than in Cebu City since I've been here.

First off, last week was All Saint's Day. Maybe some of you confused this with Halloween, its evil American twin. That is quite alright, I don't blame you. In fact, I hope you had tons of fun and got no cavities (or razorblades as the old urban legend goes). All Saint's Day happens on November 1st (not the 31st, so really they aren't twins, and I should know). It's very similar to All Saint's Day as celebrated by the Spanish influence cultures, because, let's face it, the Philippines after three hundred years of Spanish rule is HIGHLY influence in that respect. I didn't hear tale or witness any grand parades, but there were fiestas from what I've heard told, although I didn't attend any. I did get to visit the family of one of my PCPR co-workers, Beth, and go to two very different cemetaries to participate in the day. Families come together to visit their loved ones who have passed on. And where else would you do such a thing except the cemetary. You take flowers, candles, and food, and basically just hang out, or at least that's what we did. Many people have large dinners where they set a place for their passed loved one, and no one is allowed to sit in their seat or eat their food. Candles are also lit at homes to keep vigil for the souls of the dead so they can find their way home. Many people even spend the night at the grave sites.

As I said we went to two very different cemetaries. The first was a lot like those Americans are accustomed to, but even more spread out. We set up a tent on top of the grave (scandalous, eh? a sure way to get your foot grabbed), and I mostly played cards with Beth's son and nephew. The second graveyard we visited was at night and consisted of above-ground cement, er, tombs, I guess (I can't think of what you would call them). People sit on top of the caskets and drink, eat, and again, just hang out. We didn't stay all night, but went back to Beth's sister's house to sleep.

Something to note here is her sister's house. Her sister actually lives in Japan, and has for about thirteen years. She has a very impressive house, two floors, beautiful light fixtures, BATHTUBS, a washing machine (not like you would think, though), a gate, tiled floors. She doesn't get to enjoy it, though. She spends almost all of her time in Japan, having people visit her. She sends money back to her family, who sometimes use the house. Her daughter celebrated her birthday on All Saint's Day, turning 13, and has hardly seen her mom save for the two months she spends visiting her in Japan. That's the reality for a lot of Filipinos. Beth's family grew up in a poor setting. The only way their family was able to get enough money to buy a nice house (which is actually comparable to a middle class house), was to go abroad and send money home. When I see a nicer home, I sadly immediately think, I wonder which family member is in which country.

So besides that, this weekend I spent in the mountains of Cebu. In my assignment I work with Pastor Noriza Patahulang and her assigned churches in the Cebu conference. She is assigned to three very small, poor churches in the mountains outside of the city. It takes about two hours to get their, and one must travel up steep, paved, pot-holed roads to reach them. We actually stayed at a very nice house of a retired Bishop, Bishop Bintang, who houses one of the churches on his property. The church is being redone (financed by his brother who is a pastor in Hawaii) so it can hold the next conference meeting in April. We actually visited all three churches, which are a short distance apart as the crow flies, but take quite a while to reach for we flightless humans. The church we actaully went to for church today was Tanganilan, which is the smallest and most difficult to reach. It is more like a small covered patio on top of a mountain. Our multi-cab, as they call it (or actually moolti-cahb), couldn't reach the church, and we hiked up the mountain about one kilometer to reach it. I spent most of the time eslewhere in my mind because for a good five hours, people around me spoke only in Cebuano. I can't imagine how Kuyo Dan thinks I will learn Cebuano just by listening because I couldn't decipher any word that wasn't a number (and those were in Spanish). I am trying though. The church was very nice and the cool mountain breeze was very refreshing. It's nice to split time between the city and the country and I look forward to next weekend when we will go back to Bishop Bintang's home and attend a CYF (Christian Youth Fellowship) meeting of the three churches in Sak-on.

Until then I have two rest days and another urban poor immersion. Even though my first urban poor immersion was over two months ago, that experience still sticks with me, and in brutal honesty, I am terrified of Wednesday when I will return, even if just for a night, to intense poverty and no English. I feel very ashamed to have such thoughts, but they are ones any spoiled middle-class American would have. I am a product of my environment. I hope to be able to connect with these people and learn even more this time around.

I'll write again soon.

Peace, I hope